Topic: defense mechanisms
Eventually, through painful experience, the externalizer recognizes that the secret of recovery is focusing on changing yourself, not others.
Eventually, the rationalizer (through painful experience) realizes that instead of serving as a remedy, drugs and alcohol are actually making problems worse
Repeated problems related to drinking or drug use force even the person in denial to acknowledge something is wrong–eventually.
Suffering victim and destructive asshole, all wound up in the same person. That’s the “alcoholic/addictive” personality. But who is the “real person” underneath the disease?
We’re all familiar with the behaviors of alcoholics and addicts, now it’s time to use our knowledge to plan a successful intervention.
We can’t expect to address alcoholism without encountering defenses, since they exist to protect alcoholic drinking. But we have an advantage.
When we think of denial, we picture someone angrily insisting he doesn’t have a problem. But denial is more subtle than that.
The first step in knowing how to deal with alcoholic husband, wife, or other person we love is understanding the facts about alcohol abuse and the reasons alcoholics resist help.
Even if such arguments have stymied you for decades, it’s quite possible, with a little coaching, to deal with them effectively in future.