Whether you are planning an intervention, or just trying to nudge someone a little closer to the point of getting help, or even trying to rebuild a good relationship with a newly-sober friend or family member, communicating effectively will help.
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If something contradicts his/her experience, they’ll believe the experience. However, if we’re able to provide information in such a way that it better explains that experience, we gain credibility that extends to other positions we may take.
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Instead of ‘how do we get someone else to change?’ we ask: ‘why hasn’t he or she changed already?”
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We’re brought up to view a pattern of problems with alcohol or drugs as the result of a variety of other factors— psychological issues, or lack of willpower, or moral weakness, or some terrible past experience. That makes it difficult for most of us to switch over to the view of addiction as a chronic illness.
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You should expect the alcoholic/ addict to test the agreement. It’s only natural. They need to see if you really mean it, or were just blowing smoke. If you stick to your guns, they’ll abandon the challenge.
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