How to Talk so Someone With Addiction Will Listen (families)
Help for families struggling with an addiction problem
Useful stories and common sense answers to your questions about addiction, treatment, and recovery from Scott McMillin, co-author of “Freeing Someone You Love from Alcohol and Other Drugs” and six other popular addiction books.
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The more emotional the topic, the more subjective we tend to be. And when something threatens us, it can be a real struggle to detach enough to come to a rational decision.
Where real support is the result of caring, enabling usually springs from guilt, fear, or a misplaced sense of responsibility for someone else.
Think of the genetic component as an inherited vulnerability — a predisposition. The more vulnerable you are, the better your chances of becoming an alcoholic.
So the professional’s real value to an intervention is as a guide. One who can offer something the family really does need: a degree of informed objectivity.
Pretty soon we’re having a big argument which ends with me feeling miserable and him gone to the pub.
“We paid almost $50,000 for that program and it seems like a complete waste. We feel so helpless. What do we do?”
Once an alcoholic acknowledges the need for professional help, even insincerely, the biggest obstacle is gone.
He still isn’t willing to talk about me or my feelings. The kids and I went through three years of pain waiting for him to reach the point where he admitted he needed help